Phantasm: 31 of 31 Horror Movies I've Never Seen

This is a somewhat momentous occasion.  Here we are, Halloween of 2014, and rather than failing like I did last year I have completed my little challenge to watch 31 Horror Movies that I had not previously seen.  Some of them were really good and some of them were really bad and some of them still I'm not really sure what to make of.  In fact, this last one, which numerous people gasped and told me "You're Kidding?!" when I confessed to not having seen it, is one of those.  Don Coscarelli's debut, Phantasm.

Strange things are happening at the cemetery and youngster Mike (Michael Baldwin) is determined to discover the cause.  A Tall Man appears to be causing general havoc with some strange dwarf-like minions, who look remarkably like Jawas, killing people and stealing their souls to another dimension.  With the help of his blank faced brother Jody (Bill Thornbury) and the Ice Cream Man, Reggie (Reggie Bannister), Mike attempts to not only discover just what the hell is going on, but put a stop to it as well.

Made in the spirit of the original Night of the Living Dead, the film is a lo-budget late 70s picture that enlisted the help of Coscarelli's local town and aspiring actors.  While the film is somewhat disjointed, the passion to create is evident on every frame, in the attention given to the formal aspects of the craft.  The film has a somewhat slow pace to it and the inspiration from Italian Horror is evident in the camera movements and the music cues.  This influence is also very evident in the second half of the film when things start going absolutely bonkers visually.

In all honesty, I'm still not exactly sure what the hell the story is supposed to be telling me.  It has an unfortunately double cop out kind of ending that actually left me completely confused, which was probably intentional.  That doesn't mean that it's a bad film per se, just that I don't really get it.  I'm coming late into the game with Coscarelli, having only seen Bubba Ho-tep and John Dies At The End, but it appears the Phantasm spawned a cult fan base and numerous sequels, the fifth of which is in post production and is due out next year.

Most of the "acting" in this film is pretty damn bad, but Michael Baldwin actually carries the picture quite well compared to his older co-stars.  I swear, I don't know if anyone has as blank of an expression as Bill Thornbury in this movie and judging from his imdb page, this didn't quite help him into a future as an actor (most of his final credits are Phantasm Sequels.)  Luckily, Coscarelli is quite inventive visually which it makes up for it.  There's a particularly enjoyable FX gag involving a blood spewing silver orb with knife points.

3 out of 5 skulls.

John Dies At The End: 09 of 31 Horror Movies I've Never Seen!

Something that consistently boggles the mind of a friend of mine, who I am going to refer to here as Papap, is the fact that I have never seen the Phantasm.  What is probably going to boggle his mind further is that rather than watching the Phantasm by NOW (with this whole series and what not) that I chose to watch Don Coscarelli's John Dies At The End instead.

Okay, okay, Papap, I'm sorry, I'll get to it before this is all over, I promise.  Here's the thing: My last year in highschool a bunch of buddies of mine were fresh off of an obsession with The Evil Dead Trilogy when a Bubba Ho-tep came out.  On the basis of Bruce Campbell playing Elvis we bought tickets and we ended up absolutely loving the movie.  We walked out of the theater feeling completely fulfilled, satisfied, exhilarated, etc.  So when I first saw a trailer for John I thought, "Awesome, I loved Bubba Hotep!" and then it came out and I read a rather disgusted post by a filmmaker friend, Damon Packard.  He really disliked the film, said that Coscarelli has lost it, and though I've always been one to eschew critical reviews (sue me) it definitely made me think twice and ultimately I missed it in theaters.

So finally I have a chance to see what was so bad about it.  Is it cheesy? Sure.  Is it believable? Hell no.  It's utterly ridiculous.  Completely, maniacally, insanely ridiculous.  That's why it's probably one of the better movies I've seen since I started this little jaunt.  This is a film who's pure intention is worn on it's sleeve.  It doesn't wax philosophy, but it also doesn't distract from life.  It's a satire of great form.  Is it shot as well as some of Coscarelli's previous efforts?  I can't say, I've only seen one, but I thought it was put together quite well considering obvious budgetary constraints.  I applaud it for the mere fact that they used practical creature effects, not to mention for the first time, at least for me, I got to see a performance from Doug Jones out of make up!

So what's the damn story about?  It's about a strange drug, Soy Sauce, that is most definitely some insane living bacterial creature that allows human beings access to alternate dimensions as well as see manifestations from the afterlife.  It's never quite clear if these manifestations are hallucinations or reality, but they certainly seem real enough to the protagonist and vicariously to the viewer.  Best friends David and John get pulled into some struggle in which a crazy ultimate being from another dimension is seeking to take over other dimensions of Earth and the only way to stop it is to toss a bomb on it that is packed with a hallucinatory substance that will "Fuck it's shit up."

Do I still have your attention?  I love how the film rationalizes the irrational by accepting the fact that there is no rationality.  It's not trying to shove some new idea down everyone's throat.  It simply is what it is.  I don't generally like to refer to movies as rides, but I definitely understand that some movies are meant to just play off of our more visceral needs and give us an escape from the mundanity of human existence.  What I like about this film is that it does that while still poking fun at those little things that we take so seriously, but which are ultimately banal.  Things like having to help that crazy friend who's blowing something out of proportion, but you help them anyway even though you're annoyed as hell that you have to do it and you know you're going to give them shit for life.  John does this and then throws creepy demonic monsters and spores from another dimension into the mix as that "thing" that your friend is blowing out of proportion.

Sometimes, after a long day you just want a movie to be fun and different.  John Dies At The End is that and maybe a little bit more.  The cast worked off of each other remarkably and you never quite feel like they're just actors playing dress up.  There was a chemistry on screen that is only visible in great films.  The only thing that's keeping me from giving it a 5 skull rating is the fact that I felt like the second half of the film rushed forward without the real threat to rush it forward.  My room mate owns the book it's based on.  I'll have to give it a read.

4 out of 5 Skulls.